I wonder if Jesus was ever feeling deeply alone. If so, I wonder if that’s why I have felt that way for the past few weeks, and God is just building me? I have never felt this way in my life. I don’t fit in with the world and I don’t seem to fit in ministry, Or maybe I don’t fit in my own skin? Is this what it means to die and become something new? Is this where my mind with all of its wiring becomes nothing and my thoughts that are not God’s become something I just don’t understand? Lately I don’t even know who I am or what I am supposed to be doing here on earth. I have been founder of a ministry, created concerts and one music festival. Sold Real Estate. Led people to Jesus, Written sermons and preached once. I keep thinking I just want to crawl in a hole and die but then I am brought by unforeseen circumstances to my ringing phone and on the other end is someone that God used me to touch there life and I happened to be the only non family member that they called to share about what amazing things God is doing in there life. Is this the road all who are called into ministry travel on? If so then where are the tire tracks or the foot prints in the path well traveled on by pastors? I was involved in a church plant and involved in leading worship for another church’s college ministry. That all ended with the waive of a hand it seems.
So Who am I? What is my direction? I believe fully in The Bible that it is the infallible word of God. I believe in the works of The Holy Spirit. I believe that without my belief in Jesus Christ for salvation that I would never enter into heaven and be separated from God for eternity. I believe that God provides for me and my wife and my children. I believe in all of these things but the one thing I do not know how to believe in is my calling. ” Jesus be the stream in the desert.”
When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped Him. And he cried out with a loud voice and said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God that You do not torment me.” (Mark 5:6-7 NKJV)
“When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped Him.”
If I wrote just that statement alone what would you have thought of? I know I would have thought of some person that was living a life for Jesus and maybe fell off the wagon for a moment, saw Christ and ran to Him to get right with Him. But NO, it is a man that is filled with legion. The demons them selves used the mans body, running to Jesus and worshiped Him.
Worship (Verb and Noun), Worshiping: “to make obeisance, do reverence to” (from pros, “towards,” and kuneo, “to kiss”), is the most frequent word rendered “to worship.” It is used of an act of homage or reverence
This man who most likely was not wearing a cool black shirt with the converse logo on it and pair of khaki’s. (I wish I had one of those T shirts!) But we get this picture of a mad man most likely with scars, from cutting himself with stones, running towards Jesus from the tombs, falling down to the ground in absolute reverence in acknowledging the deity of Christ God incarnate. Could you imagine how the disciples might have felt, I can hear them now,
“WHAT THE….WHAT THE HECK…!!”
(I know I would be freaked out just a bit if I where there, seeing someone running at me and my posse out of the grave sites!)
This does not seem to have been a casual encounter with Jesus. The New Living Translation describes the way the man spoke to Jesus as, “With a shriek, he screamed…” This scene must wave been so crazy….
My question in all of this and this goes for my self as well… Are we looking at worshiping Jesus the correct way? I have heard all sorts of things in my experience with being involved with worship music. How to do worship, what it should look like, how worship should sound, what instruments we should use…… Now wait a minute!!…. Did this demon possessed man have a guitar in hand? Was he playing drums? did he sing a hymn? I don’t see anything pertaining to music at all happening here…I do see however that the demons… You know the angels that followed Satan out of heaven. EVEN THEY know what worship is supposed to look like. At the feet of Jesus Christ crying out.
I can not get over the fact that these were demons, the very things that are after my life and all of your lives. They had the right perspective, the right place, the right honor, the right respect, the correct place to be in the presence of Christ Jesus the most high God, Lord of Lords, and King of Kings.
Do we worship God in this way? Are we running to Him? falling on our knees, face down kissing His feet? In absolute reverence?
“Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name
which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and [that] every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ [is] Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:9-11 NKJV)
Gods Word tells us this about Christ, because of the great work of the cross! Christ not only died for our transgressions but arose from the dead three days later, was seen by over five hundred eyewitnesses and by each disciple over a forty day period. In His body, proving He was who He said He was!!! God!
Let us worship Him!
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (NKJV)
Ever felt like you have just been hung out to dry? I have… And all that is in you is screaming recognize me as a human, as a respected person, as the dignified homo sapiens that God made me to be.. Your mind blazes with thoughts of “they did WHAT!” or, “How can they do that to me I was the… (add your own title here)…” Yet in all that emotion there is a still small voice saying, ” Brian, I am making you more like Me..” I also am reminded of the part of Romans 8:28 that says, “that all things work together for good”. I heard this statement last week, “crap does not happen… crap makes stuff happen.” I mean who am I to think that God is out of control. I have not seen in The Bible once where God was out of control. How ever I do see that people can become out of control. If Simon Peter can cut off an ear in the heat of the moment or how about the Israelite crowd, how they created a huge golden idol not to long after the great sea splitting event! They were all bent out of shape because Moses was taking to long with God (ever think God is taking to long? I do!) So, who am I to think that I should not keep my self in check… No matter how great of a man I think I have become, I will always need to be reminded, especially when pain becomes the catalyst to fashion me. I need to be slow to speak, quick to listen and for sure, FOR SURE, my anger will NEVER produce the righteousness of God!
It is in Christ Jesus I find my strength, through prayer and the reading of Gods Word, that much needed reminder of what Brian is, weak, and who God is strong…
Is God your strength? Do you trust God with your wrath and your hurt giving it to Him moment by moment? Are you trying to produce in your own strength what only God can produce? Are you focusing on the hurt? I know when I am hurt my hurt is real. But instead of focusing on the hurt pray for your focus to be on what God is working in you. Ask others to pray for you as well. James 5:16 says “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (NKJV) Prayer truly works.
That is where the real Christ likeness comes out, in our willingness to be broken, at the feet of Jesus clinging to Him moment by moment asking Him in the simplest way… help..